Questions to ask before a proposal meeting
By the Muthumina team ·
A practical list of things to talk about before, and during, a first proposal meeting between two families.
A first proposal meeting can feel formal, especially when both families are there. Knowing what you want to find out makes it easier to have a real conversation. These are questions many couples wish they'd asked earlier.
Before the meeting
- Have both families seen the horoscopes, and is everyone comfortable with the Porondam result?
- Do the basics on the profile match what you've been told: education, work, family?
- Have you spoken on the phone or a video call at least once?
About life together
- Where would you want to live: near family, in Colombo, abroad?
- Would either of you be expected to move for the other's job?
- How do you see the balance between work and family?
- How do you both feel about children, and when?
About family
- How involved do your parents expect to be after the wedding?
- Will you live with, or near, either set of parents?
- Are there family responsibilities, such as caring for a parent or supporting siblings, that the other person should know about?
About values and money
- How important is religion in your daily life?
- How would you manage money as a couple?
- What does a good weekend look like for you?
Questions parents often ask each other
- What does each family expect for the wedding itself: size, cost and who pays for what?
- Are there any health matters the other family should know about?
- How do both families feel about the couple's plans, such as living abroad or changing jobs?
If you're a parent leading the search, our guide for parents covers how to set up the profile.
After the meeting
Give each other a few days. Talk it over with your son or daughter before you reply, and reply either way: a polite no is kinder than silence. If both sides want to continue, a second meeting with just the couple often tells you more than the first.
A note on safety
If the first contact is online, meet in a public place and involve your family. Never send money to someone you haven't met. Our safety tips cover this in more detail.